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Funny Christmas Quotes Biography

Source (google.com.pk)

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!”

― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

tags: christmas 2557 likes like

J.K. Rowling

“One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

tags: books, christmas, deathly-hallows, desire, family, joke, socks 2296 likes like

George Carlin

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

― George Carlin

tags: bad-girls, christmas, santa, santa-claus, sex 1607 likes like

J.K. Rowling

“Mistletoe," said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it.

"Good thinking," said Luna seriously. "It's often infested with nargles.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

tags: christmas, humor 1163 likes like

Dr. Seuss

“Christmas doesn't come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more....”

― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

tags: christmas 1028 likes like

Benjamin Franklin

“How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, His precepts!”

― Benjamin Franklin

tags: christian-behavior, christmas, religion 564 likes like

Bill Watterson

“CALVIN:

This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?

If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?

And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?

HOBBES:

I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?

CALVIN:

Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.”

― Bill Watterson

tags: christmas, life, religion 497 likes like

Charles Dickens

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.”

― Charles Dickens

tags: christmas 437 likes like

Laura Ingalls Wilder

“Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.”

― Laura Ingalls Wilder

tags: christmas 325 likes like

Bob Hope

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?”

― Bob Hope

tags: christmas 325 likes like

Ronald Reagan

“Christmas can be celebrated in the school room with pine trees, tinsel and reindeers, but there must be no mention of the man whose birthday is being celebrated. One wonders how a teacher would answer if a student asked why it was called Christmas.”

― Ronald Reagan

tags: christmas, secular, separation-of-church-and-state 311 likes like

“Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. ”

― Mary Ellen Chase

tags: attitude, christmas, inspiration 273 likes like

Charles M. Schulz

“Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.”

― Charles M. Schulz

tags: christmas 255 likes like

Derek Landy

“I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered.

“You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained in

a variety of martial arts by some of the best ﬁghters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.”

“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.”

“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.”

― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

tags: christmas, humour, skulduggery, stick, weapon 240 likes like

Want to keep Christ in Christmas? Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, forgive the guilty,

“Want to keep Christ in Christmas? Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, forgive the guilty, welcome the unwanted, care for the ill, love your enemies, and do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

tags: care, christ, christianity, christmas, clothe, enemies, feed, forgive, golden-rule, guilty, hungry, ill, inspirational, jesus, life, love, motivational, naked, service, unwanted, welcome 232 likes like

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“I heard the bells on Christmas Day

Their old, familiar carols play,

And wild and sweet

The words repeat

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

tags: christmas 230 likes like

Bill Watterson

“Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ”

― Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes

tags: christmas 225 likes like

Norman Vincent Peale

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ”

― Norman Vincent Peale

tags: christmas 214 likes like

Dave Barry

“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!”

― Dave Barry

tags: christmas, hanukkah, holidays 213 likes like

“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”

― Roy L. Smith

tags: christmas 196 likes like

Sigrid Undset

“And when we give each other Christmas gifts in His name, let us remember that He has given us the sun and the moon and the stars, and the earth with its forests and mountains and oceans--and all that lives and move upon them. He has given us all green things and everything that blossoms and bears fruit and all that we quarrel about and all that we have misused--and to save us from our foolishness, from all our sins, He came down to earth and gave us Himself.”

― Sigrid Undset

tags: christmas 172 likes like

Andy Rooney

“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly."

~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist. ”

― Andy Rooney

tags: christmas 164 likes like

Jay Leno

“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.”

― Jay Leno

tags: christianity, christmas, corruption, nativity, politics, religion, washington 137 likes like

Hans Christian Andersen

“Then she saw a star fall, leaving behind it a bright streak of fire. “Someone is dying,” thought the little girl, for her old grandmother, the only one who had ever loved her, and who was now dead, had told her that when a star falls, a soul was going up to God.”

― Hans Christian Andersen, The Little Match Girl

tags: christmas, death, hans-christian-andersen, match-girl 126 likes like

Bob Hope

“When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness.”

― Bob Hope

tags: christmas 126 likes like

Bauvard

“A man wrapped up in himself always suffocates. But his loved ones will forever hold in their hearts the memory of that Christmas.”

― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

tags: christmas, funny, love, suffocation 119 likes like

Garrison Keillor

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”

― Garrison Keillor, Leaving Home

tags: christmas 114 likes like

Laurie Halse Anderson

“There is something about Christmas that requires a rug rat. Little kids make Christmas fun. I wonder if could rent one for the holidays. When I was tiny we would by a real tree and stay up late drinking hot chocolate and finding just the right place for the special decorations. It seems like my parents gave up the magic when I figured out the Santa lie. Maybe I shouldn't have told them I knew where the presents really came from. It broke their hearts.

I bet they'd be divorced by now if I hadn't been born. I'm sure I was a huge disappointment. I'm not pretty or smart or athletic. I'm just like them- an ordinary drone dressed in secrets and lies. I can't believe we have to keep playacting till I graduate. It's a shame we just can't admit that we have failed at family living, sell the house, split up the money, and get on with our lives. Merry Christmas.”

― Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak

Funny Christmas Quotes Funny Quotes About Kids Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids

Funny Christmas Quotes Funny Quotes About Kids Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids