Funny Quotes About Life About Friends and Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpap: Funny Quotes For Kids Funny Quotes About Kids Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids

Sunday 26 January 2014

Funny Quotes For Kids Funny Quotes About Kids Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids

Funny Quotes For Kids Biography

Source (google.com.pk)

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, children, fairy-tales 18308 likes like

Madeleine L'Engle

“You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children.”

― Madeleine L'Engle

tags: books, children, difficult, grown-ups, write, writers, writing 12227 likes like

George Bernard Shaw

“Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself.”

― George Bernard Shaw

tags: books, children 4163 likes like

Shel Silverstein

“I cannot go to school today"

Said little Peggy Ann McKay.

"I have the measles and the mumps,

A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

My mouth is wet, my throat is dry.

I'm going blind in my right eye.

My tonsils are as big as rocks,

I've counted sixteen chicken pox.

And there's one more - that's seventeen,

And don't you think my face looks green?

My leg is cut, my eyes are blue,

It might be the instamatic flu.

I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,

I'm sure that my left leg is broke.

My hip hurts when I move my chin,

My belly button's caving in.

My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,

My 'pendix pains each time it rains.

My toes are cold, my toes are numb,

I have a sliver in my thumb.

My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,

I hardly whisper when I speak.

My tongue is filling up my mouth,

I think my hair is falling out.

My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,

My temperature is one-o-eight.

My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,

There's a hole inside my ear.

I have a hangnail, and my heart is ...

What? What's that? What's that you say?

You say today is .............. Saturday?

G'bye, I'm going out to play!”

― Shel Silverstein

tags: children, funny, poem 2139 likes like

Markus Zusak

“A DEFINITION NOT FOUND

IN THE DICTIONARY

Not leaving: an act of trust and love,

often deciphered by children”

― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

tags: children, love 1901 likes like

Oscar Wilde

“To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.”

― Oscar Wilde

tags: children, humor, paraphrased, parents 1676 likes like

Charlotte Brontë

“No sight so sad as that of a naughty child," he began, "especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?"

"They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer.

"And what is hell? Can you tell me that?"

"A pit full of fire."

"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?"

"No, sir."

"What must you do to avoid it?"

I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: "I must keep in good health and not die.”

― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

tags: children, hell, humor, religion 1616 likes like

Erma Bombeck

“When God Created Mothers"

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way."

It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded.

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."

God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...."

I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure."

Can it think?"

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model."

It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear."

What's it for?"

It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

You are a genius, " said the angel.

Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there.”

Funny Quotes For Kids Funny Quotes About Kids Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids

Funny Quotes For Kids Funny Quotes About Kids Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr About Girls Wallpapers For Kids